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How To Host The Ultimate Superbowl Party
by CJ Sanchez
1/2/2008
 A Superbowl party can be a great way to blow out the winter blues, but sadly very few people know how to go about organising one.
Perhaps the best indicator of a successful Superbowl party is keeping all your guests awake until four in the morning. This is not always easy, especially with those ‘once a year’ fans who are just there for the free food. However, if you follow our guide then you are (almost) guaranteed to host a legendary Superbowl party, that will live on in the hearts and minds of your guests until at-least Monday afternoon.
Have your got your pencils and notepads at the ready?
Then let us begin
There are three key elements to hosting a successful Superbowl party. These are: Food, Fun and Extra-Curricular Motivation. Whilst seemingly straightforward, these essential elements require in-depth thought and analysis. Get your strategy wrong and your guests will be left tired, hungry and loathsome.
1) Food – It is imperative that your food selection is a good one. Let’s face it, one of the reasons we love the Superbowl is it gives us an excuse to chow down on junk for four hours in a guilt free environment. That’s what your supposed to do isn’t it? It’s practically in the rulebook
However, opting for the wrong trough-filler can be devastating to guest morale so you must choose wisely.
Many hosts make the common mistake of simply ordering a combination from the local pizza specialists down the road. This is a grave error. Anything that would constitute an actual meal will not work in your favour. All that will happen is that the swine in your living room will devour the goods as soon as they arrive, notice that there is little else on offer and promptly fall asleep with their bellies full and contented.
Finger food is the key. By this I do not mean food made entirely from fingers, but food that can be picked at all evening. Think grazing, rather than feasting.
Peanuts are good but beware the side effects. Remember this is a long game and anything eaten early on has plenty of time to develop into a fowl smelling emission before the night is through. Nothing will encourage your guests to leave early like the recycled smell of their compatriot’s peanuts. In this vein, avoid beef jerky at all costs.
I always find that a big bowl of popcorn goes down perfectly as do crisps, sweets, cocktail sausages, teacakes and mini scotch eggs. A selection of these snacks will last all evening and prevent all but the most portly of guests from getting too full and crashing out.
To bulk it up a bit, it’s a good idea to supply hotdogs at about the midway point during the game. Hotdog preparation, as with everything else on Superbowl night, needs careful consideration.
Firstly the sausage. Stay away from almost anything that comes in a tin and promotes itself as ‘American Style’. Instead, look for jars of fresh franks from companies like ‘Ye Olde’. Always ensure that they are a good size too (i.e. too damn big for any bun in the shop).
Next is the bun itself. I always lookout for pre-cut buns, as these are far easier to handle and less messy. Sainsbury’s do a great hotdog bun if you are in search of perfection (which you should be really, this is the Superbowl after all!)
Lastly is the condiment. Ketchup is good. Ketchup and relish is better. A tablespoon of Sainbury’s onion relish with a topping of ketchup is absolute heaven. Under no circumstances should you put the ketchup on the sausage before the relish. This would lead to a spillage disaster the likes of which have never been seen.
 2) Fun So that’s the food sorted but what of the fun? In my experience, a little goes a long way. Hang up a star spangled banner in your living room, put a few team flags up and your guests will find it far easier to get into the spirit of things. Get some mini flags for cocktail sticks and stick them into mini sausages or pineapple pieces etc. It’s a small touch, but an effective one.
Buy a naff prize of some sort, (I usually opt for some form of toilet cleanser) and wrap it up. Then put the names of every conceivable touch down scorer into a hat (well, it doesn’t strictly have to be a hat, a Tupperware bowl will suffice) and have your guests pick out a name one-by-one until they are all distributed. Whoever has the first touch down scorer wins the prize.
3) Extra-curricular Motivation We all have that friend who never quite manages to stay awake for the whole game. You may often wonder why he/she comes to the game at all (and you get your answer when you notice all of the sour cream n’ onion Pringles have disappeared after five minutes).
I find the best way to prevent this from happening is a little trick called the ‘Spandau Ballet Method’. All you need for this is an old cassette player, an electrical timer and a copy of ‘Gold’ by the immortal Spandau Ballet themselves.
Fast forward the tape until Tony Hadley is just about to break into the chorus; right after he sings You are Plug the cassette player into the electrical timer and set the timer to around about 1.30am (around about the third quarter of the game). Ensure that the tape player is set to play and that the volume is on the highest setting. Now plant the cassette recorder out of sight somewhere (behind the sofa in the magazine rack is a good option) and await the hilarity.
This method has dual benefits. One, anyone dozing will receive the shock of their lives when they suddenly and unexpectedly hear Tony Hadley’s dulcet tones belting out GOLD! (Gold) ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOUR SOO-OUL! and will be unlikely to fall asleep again that evening (or indeed, ever). Two, those of your guests still awake will have a joyous comedic moment that they will treasure for the rest of their lives.
So there you have it. Follow this guide and rest assured that your Superbowl party will be a roaring success. Have fun and enjoy the Big Game!
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